When thinking of becoming a parent, you vow to be totally honest with your kids, to always be firm, helpful and wise. Then you actually become a parent, uncle or auntie and you realise some lies are not only preferable but actually essential to the turning of the world.
Here’s 10 lies all parents tell their children.
- When the ice cream van plays that song it means they have sold out. Look at those silly kids running to it. They’ll have such a let down.
- All those chips and chocolate wrappers in my car are just litter I picked up off the street to put in the bin at home. I’m helping the environment.
- If you don’t pull your socks up you’ll get a nose bleed. You can’t argue with science
- I’m calling Santa. That’s right, I have his direct number!
- Carrots give you night vision and spinach makes you strong. You just haven’t had enough of it yet, sweetie.
- The toy shop is closed today. Those people going in and out are the cleaners and their kids.
- If you keep pulling that face it will stay that way. Are you really willing to take that risk?
- We’ll see. Translation – We won’t see.
- It’s chicken (It’s tofu / cottage cheese / avocado / fish / anything in a sauce. But I know you like chicken)
- It’s time for bed. I definitely didn’t change the clocks.